Mere Human Activities
When you are leaving our kennel (home) you must take me with you at all times. I understand there are several human activities such as going out to work or to the doctor. Any sensible dog would find this extremely boring but these visits should be the exception rather than the rule.
If you return to the kennel and I am still asleep you should tip-toe around so as not to wake me. I need time to wake up properly.
Whenever my body clock says I need my exercise walk Mummy should not turn and say "I will take you as soon as this TV programme is finished". You should understand that your dog is far more interesting than even Coronation Street or EastEnders.
When Daddy is using his computer or reading a book he should remember that it will still be there when we get back. His work will never be as important as spending quality with a dog.
When I stop to smell something I have come across during my daily keep fit exercise walk you should not try to pull me away. Identifying smells and who created them is part of my role as Chair of Neighbour Watch. Please do not prevent me from carrying out my duties in identifying any potential risks to you.
Also when you accompany me during my patrols you should let me take control of the pace. There will be times I need to double check something so I may have to go back to properly investigate the issue.
When I am doing my toilet you should not stand and stare or tell others what I am doing. I deserve some privacy at these times.
When you are preparing food for yourself you must ensure you always feed me first. You should also take every opportunity to share everything you are eating with me. This is, of course, before you even taste your own food.
When I ask you to play with me you should never use a feeble excuse such as "I need to do this". There will never be anything more urgent than meeting my needs.
Never ever be tempted when we playing fetch to replace my ball with a boomerang. That will only annoy me. You know I will not be able to bring it back.